Still going strong.

I think that's the first time I've been able to say that since I started this blog. That felt good!

I'm on day 5, I'm down 6 pounds (most of which I'm sure was water retention) and my motivation is still on track. I have been tempted a few times by kids dinners but I have not faltered! So proud of myself right now! I realized (after being asked by a friend) that it's better for me right now NOT to set a long term goal. If I think about the big picture too much I get overwhelmed and just collapse mentally.

I tell myself each morning when I get up, I'm going to eat healthy today. I'm going to drink all my water. I'm going to move more than I rest. So far so good. At each opportunity to eat I make a conscious (VERY conscious) decision to make healthy choices. To keep my portions small, my caloric intake and fat intake low and the fiber intake high. There's so much yummy fresh fruit right now I haven't had to satisfy my sweet tooth with anything but healthy stuff so that hasn't been an issue. I'm praying that I can force myself through this part that is always the hardest until it becomes habit.

Eating after 7pm...that's the hardest for me. My trick is to chew gum and drink tons of water when I start itchin for a snack. So far...so good.

Thanks for the well wishes and prayers! Keep them up cuz they be helpin! Do I dare wish for another 6 pounds next week??? Naaahhh...I'm not stupid! LOL

I miss my collar bones....

When you're heavy for a time and your body starts getting fluffy certain things (besides the obvious) start to happen. One that bothers me the most is that I "lose" my bones. My hip bones, my shoulder bones, my knuckles and my beloved collar bones. I do not know why I love them so, but I do. When I lost all my weight a couple years ago I was brushing my teeth one morning and saw a smudge of dirt on my neck. I was like...what the heck is that?? So I went to rub it and realized it was A SHADOW!!! Yes, a shadow cast by my bone. What a wonderful feeling that was!

Fast forward two years to this morning, same scene of brushing my teeth. I was watching myself brush as I do every morning and glanced down at my neck and noticed that shadow was BLARINGLY....missing. *sigh*

It's the little things.

I hate how my motivation has been so sketchy this year. It's been a real bummer. I stopped caring. It's a good think I never had an addiction to drugs like I do my food because I undoubtedly would be dead right now. I've got a good desire going right now that has gotten me through three days! Yes, I'm three days in and have been good! Although, I must say I was tempted by a half eaten hot dog last night (Grace's...why oh why can't I stop eating when I'm full like she can???). It was sitting there looking all nummy and I took a huge bite! I did!!! Then I realized that 1. it was cold, 2. it was stale, 3. there was no mustard. I was like...why in the WORLD did I just do that? I TOTALLY SPIT IT OUT!!! I was so proud of myself!! I was like, nope...I refuse to self sabotage myself with something when I've been doing SO well! AND IT DIDN'T EVEN TASTE GOOD SO WHY WASTE THE CALORIES!!!! Oh ya...duh! *deeper sigh*

6 weeks. 6 whole weeks until Hawaii. I can be good for 6 stinkin weeks!!!! That is my goal. Day to day I will repeat to myself....I can do ANYTHING for 6 stinkin weeks.

6 months? Really?

Ya. Almost SIX months since my last weightloss blog. That's just sad. What's even sadder is the reason I haven't blogged....no motivation, no drive, no desire, no weight loss. Shocker. What's the deal with this same old boring story anyway? I'm sick of telling it. I'm sure y'all are sick of hearing it.

So, Hawaii is a little over a month away. I have some capris I would REALLY like to get into for the trip (not the original ones btw, but whatever). Yesterdays festivities were wonderful and I did a good job eating whatever I wanted. Well, technically I've done that for well over a year now, but we aren't keeping score are we? mmmkay, thanks. :) I told myself that I'd chill until the 4th was over. It's over now and I've done pretty well with the "day after" motivation. It's now 8:30pm and the late night munchies will be upon me soon. I'm praying...praying hard...that I can make it through. Try is just an excuse to fail. So I won't try. I will do.

Again.

Someday this will all be behind me and I can laugh at myself at how stupid I was.

I wonder if I can have my taste buds surgically removed.....